If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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