One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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