Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Just high enough for therapy.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
