I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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