You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
