I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
