whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
