i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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