We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
