windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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