I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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