Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
