Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
