she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize