So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
