white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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