I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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