if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
