Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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