Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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