we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
