i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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