a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
