you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I will be naked everywhere
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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