A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
This girl is more easily done than said...
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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