oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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