ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have demons in me.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
