he puts the penis in happiness.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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