My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
