It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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