Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
