Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
