but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
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