I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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