pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
