Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
