Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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