Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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