I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
