your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I want her autograph on my taint
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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