omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize