I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
