Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
