All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize