ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
