Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
