Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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