Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
