Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I don't deserve a penis
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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