But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize