her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
