i may or may not be watching the land before time
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
