Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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