i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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