I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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