There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
