Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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