No stitches, just platelets and will power
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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