I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize