can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
