stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
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