Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Randomize
