How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
