Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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