we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
