I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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