My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize